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This week on the Empty Pockets blog, drummer and professional Rueben taster Danny Rosenthal takes the helm to bring you his important message. - Ed
I don’t write many blogs because I don’t usually have anything exciting to say, but we’re in luck because I am about to change your life. However before we get there, let’s give a round of applause for Nate Bellon, who writes more blogs than I can read. Now I want to let all of you, my friends, know I have just invented the best diet known to man.
Have you tried other diets and found yourself ending up starving with little weight-loss result? Worry no more because my Rosenthal Cure-All Weight Loss Diet (patent pending) is guaranteed to work.
How It Works… (I am so glad you’re still reading)
A dear friend of mine had infected tonsils. They were too swollen for the body to take care of itself and medical technology stepped in. They removed the tonsils without fear of what would happen to the body without the lymphoid tissues that had served as an integral part for as long as my friend could remember. Do you know what your tonsils are for? Neither do I but it doesn’t matter because it turns out they don’t do anything.
How do you feel about the adenoids? Adenoids are another lymphoid tissue in the back of the nose that actually does help defend against inhaled bacteria but only when you’re a child because as you grow the adenoids shrink and thus become useless.
Plain and simple we have a bunch of ineffective organs: the coccyx, wisdom teeth, male nipples (these may be kept for aesthetic purposes) and perhaps the most well known offender, the appendix. They can all go. And there's plenty more where those came from. Combining the weight of these useless bits, you’re going to weigh at least a pound less and maybe even a little more.
You’re all on the honor system to send me money if you choose to do this. Please contact you physician to see if this diet is for you, but let’s face it… it is.
- Danny Rosenthal